BY NEHA NEGANDHI*

Atlanta, GA, August 15, 2024: There are certain memories that require no trigger. They’re etched in like permanent identity markers constantly reminding us of who we are. That unbreakable tie between past and future still reverberates tangibly decades later for Bindu Malbari who recalls with pinpoint accuracy the day she found out her father’s Bombay-based business was failing and how her mom was selling her jewelry to run the household.

“I was 14-years-old, in eighth grade, when I overheard my parent’s conversation. It was never discussed outwardly but I felt an immense responsibility to make a financial contribution to ease their burden,” Bindu said.

Many children find themselves carrying the burden of their parent’s woes. But in Bindu’s case, this became the precedent to her defying-the-odds life patterns. When seemingly insurmountable obstacles block her path, she creates knowledgeable solutions. Whether it’s as a teenager finding income, or defiantly pursuing a successful IT career, or managing an 11-person household, Bindu finds workarounds using her intelligence and congeniality to source solutions, often bringing it full circle, doing selfless service.

In her primary days, Bindu answered the nuns at her private covenant school as wanting to be just like them when they asked about her career aspirations. Her belief in helping others no matter who they are is the foundation to how she navigates challenges and changes its course for the better.

Just as she figured how as a teenager doing mehndi designs and tutoring at home would help her family gain some financial solace. Not settling for just doing well, she had the opportunity to do more. On a chance encounter, she saw an underprivileged claymaker’s young son crying on the sidewalk with some cracked clay pots. Knowing instinctively that he would be blamed for the unsold damaged pots, she bought them to help the young child and possibly to practice her new-found artistry.

Her art deco turned into a lucrative find as some neighbor’s relatives, by happenstance, saw her painted pots high on a shelf and immediately gave her an order for 50 more decorated art pieces. Her mission to help others turned on its head and helped her too.

Growing up in Bombay, Bindu was a smart student and “very tomboyish”. She was quite athletic, doing the javelin, shotput and earning a brown belt in karate. “Though I had huge calf muscles and wore rolled-up t-shirts to show off my arm muscles, none of this was helpful when it came to dancing,” Bindu noted. At her mother’s urging, she pushed herself to dance in her society’s annual showcase only to be told by the teacher “I can’t teach her dancing, her two left feet are a nuisance!”

Even though she resolved herself as non-rhythmic, she couldn’t say no to her friend’s pleading to be her injury replacement partner for Bombay’s annual 9-day Navratri/Dandiya traditional dance competition. Bindu laughed when she recalled this can’t-believe-this-happened story when we sat for our interview in her metro Atlanta home over chai.

Bindu’s fierceness for learning taught her body. Her steadfast belief that hurdles are meant to be overcome shifted her mindset. Through perseverance, she found an agile dancing rhythm gliding gracefully in a circle, arms and legs synchronized artfully. Her newly minted talent won 1st place in the competition and went on to garner accolades and awards at all other garba competitions. She went on to represent India at the International Folk Festival – a huge honor – getting to travel and dance for two months all across Europe.

At 18-years-old, I asked her who traveled with her to Europe which she simply answered, no one. Her family was “extremely progressive” and trusted her to be on her own learning cultures on a new continent. Just as they did when Bindu told her parents about the bright, handsome, USA-based boy she’d met while he was visiting her cousin. At age 21, she married her love with blessings and moved to Lawrenceville, GA for life unknown with unfathomable challenges. And in typical Bindu fashion, she addressed them with headstrong resilience and a propensity for service.

In many Indian families, it’s customary for younger members to take care of elders, including parents, in-laws, and sometimes grandparents. When Bindu Malbari joined her joint family, which included 11 members, she realized that this experience was an opportunity for growth. “Over time, I found ways to build my self-esteem and carve out a path for my own life, balancing home and work,” she said.

Even if she hadn’t touched a computer ever before, she enrolled at DeVry University for a Computer Science degree. Undeterred by the challenge, on day one, she boldly stood up in front of the entire classroom displaying how she’d upended her monitor, flipping it over to insert a floppy disc. “I’ll never forget the incredulous look of what-are-you-doing on professor’s face!”, Bindu said. Just two years later, the same professor’s face turned to awe when Bindu graduated top of her class.

Her twins were born in 2002 and her household management increased. Parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, several people disabled and more. “There was not a square inch of unused space in our home,” Bindu explained. Rather than complain, she compromised and did all that she could in service. It reinforced how selfless action for the benefit of others (like the Gita teaches) is a treasured gift.

Just a few years ago on a short 6-day trip to India to visit her ailing grandmother in India, Bindu walked up to a complete stranger, a young girl street sweeping. Finding out that the orphan lived with her aunt/uncle, forced to make money to earn her keep, had a deep love to study cosmetology. So, Bindu did what had to be done of course. She called a friend, talked to the aunt, enrolled her in school and completely changed her life’s trajectory. Now, this young woman works at one of the top Bombay nail salons, is married into a wonderful family and is able to help her younger brother.

Bindu helps so many others not to reap the benefits or even say she is helping. She simply does because it is ingrained in who she is. The selfless act of giving does not unfortunately derail physical pain. Currently, Bindu suffers from a spine bulge condition causing debilitating pain. Though it forced her to leave her prominent corporate IT career, its shifted priorities to help those who are in need.

By sharing her story, Bindu hopes that others will do all that’s possible to do selfless service too. “Do everything you can to leave a goodness footprint everywhere you go.”

Neha Negandhi is a Mental Health Strategist, Certified Life Coach, TEDx speaker and Talk Show host. Visit her website for upcoming mental wellbeing events and more NehaNegandhi.com